Friday, April 4, 2008


See the image of the Junk Pyramid up there? No, no, to the left. No, the other left. It's orange and triangular. Higher...a little higher...there! See how it mentions "detritus?" I used that term because I love it. Something about the way it rolls off my tongue, as well as the mental picture it brings up for me is terrific.

(The mental picture, by the way, involves bits of floating boards left over from a shipwreck. Which is actually more like flotsam—another great word. Weird things go on in people's brains. Or at least in mine.)

Today I truly found some detritus. I was still not motivated to go into the closet from hell I successfully avoided yesterday. Instead I went after the top middle drawer of my desk.

It was chock full of detritus:

After looking at this drawer, I am enacting a new law which states: All pens, pencils, highlighters and other writing utensils must be removed from their packaging before they are put in this drawer. Failure to comply will result in tarring and feathering.

(FYI, tarring and feathering wasn't as fun as it sounds. Are you watching John Adams on HBO? Did you see that guy get tarred and feathered? Shudder.)

What else did I find other than (a hell of a lot of) trash? Well, I always think there are no pens at my desk. Turns out there are 27.

Also pencils that I think I might have bought when I was in college. (How do you remember purchasing pencils, you may ask. Well, it was a GIANT pack of them that I bought for really cheap. I remember thinking what a good bargain it was. That's how I remember. Not to mention the segment of my brain that tries to remember why I just walked into the kitchen is currently occupied by the pencil information.)

Let's see what else... Thank you notes go here. Red ink Alex used to use because the judge he worked for only let him write in red can go in the trash. More thumbtacks? Those will be trash. Another stapler? Donation box. Four staple removers (two different types)? I'll keep one of each kind. Little bits of fingernails? How did these even get here? (I'm keeping those.)

Among some other things, I kept blank labels, post-it notes, pens, pencils, 2 rulers, a calculator and a scientific calculator (I'm donating a calculator as well), and a keychain photo from when my whole family went to see Thomas the Tank Engine in person.

The other thing I had to deal with was a stack of membership and other types of cards. We tend to forget to throw these out when they expire. I found memberships and things that expired in May of 2004.

See my beautiful drawer now!

It's hard to determine exactly how many items I got rid of by looking at that giant pile of detritus above. I came up with 14 items, 7 cards, and a big ol' chunk of trash.

Not bad for a Friday.


tulipmom said...

Not bad at all! Speaking of pens, I was cleaning out my purse the other day and found 12 (!!) of them at the bottom. Twelve pens, five lipsticks, 3 bottles of nose spray ... and I wonder why my purse is so heavy!!

the new girl said...

Ah. Nice drawer and YES! I saw the poor man (and his willy) get tarred and feathered and


What the HELL was THAT all about?